DISCLAIMER The comments on this blog are the opinions of the blogger based on personal experience as a defendant in a divorce case. Please note that the information here does not constitute legal advice. I am not a lawyer. It is strongly recommended that you hire a family law attorney, licensed to practice in your state, to represent you and to help guide you through the complicated process of divorce.
Option #1 - Mediation
Even a couple who agrees on everything needs a lawyer. After all, you will need someone who knows the law to put together your divorce agreement. To save money, such couples might sit down with a mediator who can help them reach a compromise.
Divorce mediation has become a popular option. Many mediators are family law attorneys, and mediation is far less expensive than a knock-down, drag-out court fight. If you and your spouse can work together amicably, you could even put together a preliminary agreement yourselves and then bring it to your first mediation meeting. In this way, you could lower the number of hours spent with the mediator and, thus, lower your cost even further.
Spouses are expected to split mediation fees 50/50. If you have no money, your spouse might be willing to pay all mediation fees, but first you might want to ask yourself this question: If your spouse is covering the whole cost, can the mediator remain purely objective? Or will the mediator naturally have a bias in favor of the person paying the bill? As an attorney once told me, no matter how objective a mediator might come across, he or she cannot create an agreement for both parties without some bias coming into play.
Even in mediation, you still may need to hire a lawyer to protect your own interests for two reasons: (1) After the mediator helps the two of you finalize a resolution, formally known as a Memorandum of Understanding, you will be expected to have your own attorney review it to make sure the agreement is right for you. (2) In every divorce case, one party must be the plaintiff and the other the defendant. (You and your spouse will have to decide who will be which one.) So, you still might want your own lawyer to appear in court on your behalf.
Before you try mediation, here is another important fact to know: If you do not hire your own attorneys, the mediator cannot represent and file divorce papers for both of you in court. He or she can represent only one of you. This means that one party will have to sign off to allow the mediator to represent the other party. (I was not aware of this little-known fact when my spouse and I first started mediation.) Be careful! According to Legal Services of New Jersey, "an attorney who is acting as a mediator or arbitrator should never represent either of you in a divorce action and should not help you file for divorce" (Divorce in New Jersey: A Self-Help Guide, page 3).
Nevertheless, the general consensus is that mediation might be the best option for couples who are divorcing on friendly terms. Many couples today use mediation successfully. Just be sure to learn more about it before you decide to take this route.
Go to Option #2 - Legal Services of New Jersey >>>
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